by Dr. Greg Allen
We can’t control what comes into our minds, but we can control what station we listen to. We take in information from relationships, work, family and the world. What we absorb affects our mind and emotions.
Often our mind gets stuck on a negative station. In this case, we need to change the station. If our thoughts are negative, fearful or self-critical, we often end up agreeing with the negative input, resulting in us being scared, stressed, afraid, self-doubting, or worse.
Learn to not give power to negative thoughts by agreeing with them. If someone walked up to you and said, “You are a purple alien,” you would not take it in as truth — “Oh no, I’m a purple alien!” You would more likely respond by saying to the person, “Okay, you have a nice day,” and walk away. You would not give credence, respect or time to the comments. Similarly, we need to not give acceptance to negative thoughts
A new station in our mind, doesn’t just happen by itself. Especially if we have experienced something upsetting or traumatic. We need to learn to develop a station that will hold our focus.
To develop a new station, firstly we must list the thoughts, places or experiences that bring us to a place of peace, calm and positivity. This list could contain poetry, song lyrics, art or other positive affirmations. The new station is able to create within us a sense of well-being, acceptance, confidence, hope and peacefulness.
If you would like to create your own radio station in your head, spend some days answering these questions:
What makes me feel relaxed? Where in the world would I feel peaceful and relaxed? What would I be doing in these moments that would lead to this peaceful state?
Think of yourself doing these things that lead to joy and peace in yourself.
Identify what your senses are experiencing whileare in this place of peace. What do you hear, see, feel, smell?
Make a list of things you are grateful for. List top eight. Review this list when you need to change stations. This can be your gratitude station.
Initially, the new station may only hold your attention for a few seconds or minutes. But if you practice with consistency and patience, over time you will develop a new mental focus your mind is able to be at rest in. This will eliminate fear, worry, stress and other negative thoughts and feelings.
We can also teach our kids to create their own radio stations.
Dr. Greg Allen is a licensed therapist practicing in Palos Verdes Estates and San Pedro. (drgregallen.com). He is also the founder and director of Freedom4U, a non-profit that seeks to guide youth towards their life purpose, and thereby reduce risky lifestyles. (FreedomCommunity.com) He also directs the non-profit Hearts Respond, seeking to unite communities and improve LA Harbor families. (heartsrespond.com). Freedom4U provides an after-school program at Hearts Respond Studio for kids and teens in San Pedro to socialize, receive tutoring, and become leaders.
