Independence was the only lesson his parents taught him
by Paul Knapp
I only heard my mother say I love you once.
She was 92 and senile. She said it in response to my wife saying I love you to her.
My parents had a long but loveless marriage.
Their wedding was what used to be called a shotgun wedding.
There was no love or affection but also no discipline or rules or much interaction.
They didn’t care about report cards or clean rooms.
The only thing I learned from my parents was a strong sense of independence. I was never afraid to go out on my own.
I don’t remember ever having a conversation with my dad.
The only advice he ever gave was pretty stupid.
He said no matter what profession you go into, be the best in that chosen profession.
It is impossible to be the best, maybe what he meant to say was do the best you can.
But he wasn’t done. He also said whether you are a ditch digger or a drug dealer, be the best drug dealer or ditch digger.
Did I mention this was 1967, and I was 19, how he came up with those two professions I’ll never know? Ironically I dabbled in both of them at one time or another.
Some parents abandon their children, others try to smother them with rules, and others with love, some leave them with others, some parents split and take the kids away.
My parents abandoned me in spirit, they did the minimum allowed by law, housing, food and clothing.
My first day in kindergarten my mother walked me to school, after that I was on my own. I never got a ride to school.
I’m sure that’s where I got my sense of independence.
About fourth grade, as I lay in a hospital bed a nurse would lean over and give me a kiss. It struck me as quite odd because I had never experienced it before.
I was told to lie still because I might have a bruised spleen.
My mother read a lot of books but would tend to get things wrong. She said I had a ruptured spleen, which I found out later in life would not have been possible because I would have died if they didn’t operate.
I shared the room with another kid who came over and showed me his extra thumb, which he was quite proud of.
His parents put him in the hospital to have it removed, against his wishes.
Since there was nothing wrong with him he kept getting out of bed and running around.
They kept trying to make him stay in bed, finally they put sides on his bed and a screen on top caging him in. I couldn’t believe how cruel this was. Not only were they forcing him to do something he didn’t want done to him but they put him in a cage to do it.
Too bad he didn’t have parents like mine; they wouldn’t have cared if had a thumb growing out of my forehead.
The guy that was driving the car that hit me brought me some comic books.
My dad came by and asked me where the comics came from. He didn’t bother to bring me anything.
I missed two weeks of school.
Up until then I got good grades, but my next report card was C’s and D’s. I thought I would be in trouble but they didn’t care. My father never looked at any report card.
So from then on I got good grades in classes I liked and not so good in ones I didn’t.
I had to testify in court about the accident and my dad got a small settlement with which he bought a boat that he said was mine but then sold it and bought another one that wasn’t mine. ER
