The Nightlife: Forced Intimacy at the Beach
MBYP SummerFest 2012: 2nd Annual Beer and Music Festival hosted by Manhattan Beach Young Professionals. Because there’s nothing better than alcohol to grease the wheels of a networking event. You want future business associates to see the real you. Right away. Plus you can check out the Raleigh Studio’s New York lot. Probably get some great facebook profile shots at the very least. Saturday July 14, 3 to 6pm. RSVP now to save $5 at http://mbypsummerfest.eventbrite.com/Free shuttles to and from Raleigh Studios from Twelve + Highland, the official after party location.
Congratulations to Rich Marcello of Strand Brewing Co. His wife was in labor with their first child as he was scurrying about Shade’s Pop Up Dinner featuring Gertler’s Kitchen . She’s quite the trooper. Shade expects to host 6 Pop-Ups per year. Who will be next?
Intimate Bicycle Grouping. Photo by Anna Cox.
Forced Intimacy at the Beach
This vignette comes to you courtesy of a beach run in at 8th street, which is where I hang. Reading books and doing other nerdy things. So I’ve been taking my own advice — going out of my way to talk to nice guys, regardless of the attraction level I feel for them. Everyone has a fair chance. Along comes Mr. Perfectly Nice Guy who’s chatting me up, laying on my beach blanket, when he says: “Excuse me, I have to use the restroom.” I’m mentally forming some joke about how ‘you are actually going to go to a bathroom aren’t you?’ But figure, it’s not necessary. I was wrong. Next thing I know, he kneels down against the strand wall and relieves himself. Up until this point, I was totally gonna give him my number. I had almost handed him my card, even. His awkward innocence was kinda cute, except that I could hear it. This really loud steady stream of urine. It was not gonna stop anytime soon. I didn’t know what to do, so I just got up and walked straight toward the ocean. He follows me. — What’s wrong? I hope I didn’t offend you? Well yah, you kinda creeped me out. I could hear it. You couldn’t hear it; the sound was going the other way! I could hear it. What am I supposed to do? Go in the ocean. You wanna swim in my pee? Yes, yes I do. That’s kinda sexy. — Washes off self. Cause now he feels dirty. Gives me a soaking wet, unsolicited bear hug. I say: I’m just gonna go read my book now. He was sweet, just a little misguided.
Moral of the story: Guys, don’t urinate in front of a girl you’ve just met.
Girls, talk to guys before they get drunk.
Dating tip 12: My male fans want me to announce that “Women keep score, while men don’t.” Okay. So now what? My advice is to quit doing bad things that we need to remember forever. My current unrequited crush has only done one thing that is un-erasable. One thing in 7 months, depending on how you count. Never mind the fact that he doesn’t like me back. He’s still in the lead.
Girls, don’t wait around for a guy to build up a big ol’ list of dealbreakers while you’re looking for greener grass. Just cut him. Being alone does not make you lonely. False hope is mean. Mean to him, and disingenuous to yourself. At the very least it’s bad karma. Being a hottie with a heart is way hotter.
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