Dear Cassy: A day in the life of a school therapist
I am often asked what exactly a school-based therapist does each day. Do kids really come talk to you? people ask. So I have put together a typical day in the life of a school-based therapist. Identifying information has been altered but the stories are all true.
My day starts at 8 am. Many mornings there is a student waiting before I set my bag down and get a cup of coffee. I start with, “Whatʼs going on?” As I close my office door, the student begins to sob, “I had nowhere else to go. Iʼm pregnant. Can you help me?” Her mother died of cancer three years ago and her father is barely holding it together. To deal with having her family ripped apart, she has been drinking and using drugs. She got drunk at a party and had sex with a guy she barely knows, let alone likes. At 17, she is pregnant and alone. We are there to hear her and provide the support she will need.
Itʼs now 9:30 am. Still no coffee but I manage a quick bathroom break before my second period client. He was referred to me by a concerned teacher. The teacher saw he was struggling in class, not turning in his assignments like he used to and easily agitated. After several weeks of meetings, I conclude he is clinically depressed and had been for some time. He is one of the fortunate students with loving parents. With their support he has begun to get out of the fog known as depression.
Itʼs almost lunch now, and I return calls. Concerned parent call almost daily. A mother starts with, “Iʼm really concerned about my daughterʼs friend and so is my daughter. We didn’t know what to do but I remember hearing you speak recently at a parent meeting. You said we could call you.”
The mother describes the friend as out of control and having no family to speak of. Her mother is an addict and dad has never been around. Last night, the friend told her daughter she wanted to kill herself. Once off the phone, I contact the friend. She is indeed suicidal. The only thing that stopped her last night from killing herself was her friend staying on the phone. She is unable to keep herself safe anymore. We hospitalize her right from school. She will be placed on a therapeutic hold and receive an evaluation and treatment.
After a quick lunch at my desk, a teacher comes to see me. She has a student essay in her hand. She asks me to read it. It begins, “The most intense sensation of pain Iʼve experienced was when I was being abused by my father. I was being molested and when his hands went up and down my body, it felt like a thousand knives cutting in on my skin. He emptied my soul, my heart and body. Nothing was left of me, only a memory of what I used to be. He opened my soul and didnʼt close it back, he wounded me, like no one has ever wounded me before. I felt like he took all my love, passion, happiness, pride, joy and jubilee and put them in a plastic trash bag for the garbage men to take away.” After drying my own tears we contact the student and the appropriate county workers and begin the long healing process.
After completing my case notes and returning more calls, I throw out my now cold cup of coffee. Ready for another day, another teen to hear, to help heal.
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Liz Schoeben is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. In 2017, she founded CASSY SoCal (cassysocal.org), which partners with the Palos Verdes Unified School District to provide students with comprehensive mental health services.