In Remembrance: Mildred Marx, 1919-2011
Mildred Marx, queen for the day celebrating her 90th birthday, March 17, 2008. Photo by Mary Jane Schoenheider
The long-time Palos Verdes Peninsula resident, whose charitable efforts began as a youngster growing up in New York City and have gained momentum through the years, is not only philanthropic but philosophic.
“I can’t imagine life without travel,” said Mildred, who during more than a half-century has traversed the world with her late husband, Jerry Sokolski, an industrial engineer, and her current husband, Howard F. Marx, a retired aeronautical engineer.
“I love people,” she went on. “I love to meet people. And I’m thoroughly convinced that if we took the world and shook it up so that you ended in Yugoslavia, and I ended in the Czech Republic, we would realize that everybody wants the same thing in life: A better world for their children. Food on the table. An education for their kids. No war. There isn’t anybody in the whole damned world that doesn’t want that! So what is everybody fighting about?
“If we got to know the people in other countries, the world would be a much better place. The only thing that stands in the way is power cliques and politicians. Travel, and I’ve been everywhere, makes you understand how simple life could be if we were all good friends.”
At the Palos Verdes Peninsula Chamber of Commerce Citizen of the Year dinner in 1997 honoring Mildred, she commented that she appreciates recognition. Who wouldn’t? But Mildred, whose son-in-law, Bud Wilson, calls her Auntie Mame, has spent most of her life unselfishly helping others.
There’s a long list of philanthropic organizations she has supported. To name a few, The Circle of the Palos Verdes Arts Center, the Peninsula Symphony Association, Peninsula Seniors, Hadassah, the Jewish Federation Council, United Way.
Last year (1996), after overcoming a bout with breast cancer, she resigned as a staff member of the Hospice Foundation. The nonprofit organization with which she had served for 10 years, made her honorary life member of the foundation board.
“I’ve been Woman of the Year (YWCA 1987),” she noted. “I’ve got lots of framed things in the garage. At this age, what do you do with them? But that Hospice gesture truly thrilled me.”
After graduation as music major from Hunter College in New York, she married Jerry Sokolski. She continued her education at Columbia earning a Master’s Degree in Music. In 1967, they built their home in the Lunada Bay section of Palos Verdes Estates. Married for 44 years, they traveled extensively until he died in 1984. In 1991, she married her long-time friend and neighbor, Howard Marx.
For Mildred, life is an ongoing adventure. She believes that there is no time for egotism. “As individuals, we’re part of a very big picture. I’m very fatalistic. I think our fate is written in the stars – or wherever you believe it should be written.”
Just before Desert Storm, Mildred had planned a trip to Israel. “Sixty-six people had signed up. Only six of us went. If a Spud missile got me, that’s what was written. But I’m still her aren’t I?”
Hospice, she says,” showed me how to live. How to cope. I always feel that I’m protected in Saran Wrap. Nobody can touch me,” she laughed. “I’ve seen a lot of death. I face my mortality without fear. Hospice helps people get the most out of life, not death. We want you to live until the very day you die. And we want you to live comfortably and fully in control, surrounded by people who love and care for you and think only of your good.”
Mildred describes her life as “wonderful.” Especially through Hospice, she has discovered “so many great people who make tremendous sacrifices for others. The true humanitarian is the person who gives or serves anonymously. There are many people on the Hill and in the South Bay who deserve credit.”
Helping others has made Mildred realize “how fortunate I am and what a wonderful life I’ve lived. I had two loving husbands; neat kids, scrumptious and remarkable grandchildren.
“I’ve traveled everywhere. I have loyal friends. I live in an area that’s absolutely beautiful. For my age, I’m in pretty good shape. As long as my parts remain functional, what else is there?”
The above profile was written by Boots LeBaron.
Editor’s note: The above profile on Mildred Marx appeared in the February 1997 edition of Peninsula People magazine, the year she was honored by the Palos Verdes Peninsula Chamber of Commerce as Citizen of the Year. Mildred was a dear friend and one of my mentors, teaching me so much about life. She was one of the superstars of the Peninsula, and will be missed by her many friends. Although in a great deal of pain and confined to her bed a good deal of the time this past year, she remained involved in a future Providence TrinityCare Hospice project, currently referred to as the Center of Excellence for Outpatient Palliative Care and Education. Mildred passed away peacefully at home on Jan. 17. A private memorial service was held Jan. 21 at Temple Menorah, Redondo Beach.
Mary Jane Schoenheider, publisher. PEN