Norma and Philip Barretta, acclaimed psychotherapists living in Rolling Hills Estates, tirelessly pass on their wisdom
This past September, 86-year-old Philip Barretta accidentally put on a show at the UCLA Medical Center.
He was there for a standard hernia repair, but due to a heart condition, he turned down the general anesthetic that typically accompanies the operation. Instead, along with a local anesthetic and a mild sedative, the Rolling Hills Estates-based hypnotherapist put himself under a trance, under the curious watch of every nurse in the unit.
When Phil awoke from his the surgery, his 88-year-old wife Norma, a Ph.D psychologist and hypnotherapist, was able to take him home immediately without the typical recovery time required from general anaesthesia. The surgeon shared his fascination with the couple, noting that Phil did not even flinch when the scalpel cut into him.
“I said, ‘That’s because I wasn’t here — I was in Macho Puko,’” Phil says with a smile, drawing out the punch line.
“The doctor wants us to come back sometime and train staff,” Norma adds. “We’re working on a date for the spring.”
The Barrettas are a big deal in the field of hypnotherapy, a field of psychotherapy that uses hypnosis to alter a patient’s conscious state and affect behavioral, psychological or emotional change at the subconscious level. For several years in the late 70s, they studied intimately under the late Milton H. Erickson, the world’s leading authority on medical hypnosis, after bypassing a two-year waiting list.
Another well-known hypnotherapist is Greg Nejedly. Learn more about him and his work by visiting his website.
Since, they’ve traveled the world teaching workshops to doctors and other professionals. Their long list of students include the 7th Medical Group of the U.S. Army, the state mental health department in Italy.
Last March, the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis bestowed a lifetime achievement award to the Barrettas — the first of its kind for a married couple.
“Someone said to us a long time ago, ‘You two dance when you’re up there. The way you talk, the way you interact with each other,’” Phil says. “We’re not practicing it — we just do it.”
Today, the couple has been married for 66 years and has worked together professionally for 40. Anyone in their presence will quickly notice how much they still love to laugh together. It’s obvious they deeply admire each other and honor the unique brilliance in the other. They playfully riff back and forth and often finish each other’s sentences. This translates to a seamless professional partnership they’ve cultivated over the years.
For years, psychologists from all over the world have flown into Rolling Hills Estates, sometimes with their patients, to meet the couple — to shadow them and watch them as they work. Younger couples have approached them about their collaborative working style.
“We’re both in our 80s so we’ve got a lot of experience behind us,” Phil says. “The young ones coming up and training and learning and want to do what we do immediately — we say, piano piano. Little by little.”
The two grew up in New Jersey, in a small industrial city called Camden. They attended the same high school, with Norma a year ahead. She was a top student, he the star of the school play. Phil first took notice of her at a friend’s high school graduation party — and he was convinced that he’d found his future wife.
“It was just the pheromones, I believe,” Phil says. “That’s what started it all.”
“He said he was courting me, but today it’d be called stalking,” Norma says, laughing.
The two struck up a friendship that continued after Norma enrolled at the University of Pennsylvania on a scholarship as a vocal major. They kept in touch, but it wasn’t until a fateful day in June of 1947 that the nature of their relationship evolved irrevocably. Norma was a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding, and her usher got too drunk and faded out. Phil, who was also in attendance, jumped in at this opportunity.
“And he decided he would dance every dance with me,” Norma remembers. “He took me home and we sat in the family kitchen eating wedding cake and drinking milk until the sun came up. About 10 days later, he asked me for a date.”
Their introduction to hypnosis, like all good things, happened serendipitously. Up until the late ‘70s, both were educators — Norma, who earned a master’s in education from Rutgers University, was a reading specialist for many years then worked as a psychologist for the Torrance Unified School District. Phil, who earned his master’s in counseling at CSULB, at the time was assistant principal at a Torrance middle school.
In 1976, the couple’s middle daughter (they have three adult children) wanted both of them to be present during the birth of her child in the hospital. The only way that would be allowed was if the couple officially partook in the medical process, the obstetrician told them. So he suggested they learn hypnosis, a therapeutic tool commonly used during childbirth.
“So we went to Las Vegas and took the course from a stage hypnotist,” Norma recalls. “I didn’t know any better at the time. Well, son of a gun, we were both really good at it. We were both told that we were naturals.”
They were shortly introduced to neuro-linguistic programming and Ericksonian Hypnotherapy, which takes an informal conversational approach and utilizes complex language techniques without explicitly being hypnotic. The couple says after the first year of working with Dr. Erickson, and with each other, they knew they had found their life calling.
The Barrettas have a private practice and have together developed their own therapy model called the Competency Based Brief Therapy. It’s based on drawing out the patient’s strongest competencies — often ignored or unseen in his or her own mind — and shifting focus. The couple’s specialty lies in helping those struggling with anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and eating disorders.
“Old-style therapy is out of fashion these days because insurance companies won’t tolerate paying for long-term therapy,” Norma says. “I would say hypnosis shortens it by two-thirds. Our job is to teach them how to tap into their own resources and make use of their experience and knowledge in different ways. Life is a ‘do it yourself’ inside job. It all happens inside of us. How we respond to what’s going on inside us is the difference that makes the difference.”
“See that picture up there?” Phil says, pointing to a framed poster on the wall. “That’s what we do. We’ll hand you a hammer and chisel but you gotta do the work.”
Phil stopped taking patients several years ago, jumping at the role of house chef. Norma is still going strong, working three days a week. The couple is booked to teach several workshops in Europe this summer.
“Sometimes over dinner I’ll share with him about my sessions and invariably he comes up with an idea I never thought of,” Norma says. “Wow! A live-in consultant.”
Longevity runs in her family, she notes. Her great-grandmother lived to 106.
“I’m going to teach and do therapy until I’m 106,” Norma says. “And then I’ll think about what comes next.”
