‘Somehow life led me to this job’
Ben Schirmer, executive director of Rainbow Services Ltd. Photo
Some people seem like they were just meant to do the work they’re doing.
As Ben Schirmer talks about his life’s journey, it becomes clear that he is one of these people.
This year, the 53-year-old, Baltimore-born Schirmer celebrated a decade as the executive director of Rainbow Services, one of the only shelter-based domestic violence agencies in the South Bay. With a background in business and law – Schirmer holds both an M.B.A. and a law degree – and a personal experience with domestic violence, he is precisely the person for a position that requires both technical knowhow and passion.
“This is one of those situations where it wasn’t necessarily my goal to do this job, but somehow life led me to this job,” Schirmer says in his San Pedro office, a purple pin commemorating Domestic Violence Awareness Month affixed to his suit lapel.
“But I’m so grateful and fortunate to have ended up here. I love coming to work,” he says with apparent enthusiasm. “Every day is an opportunity to help someone.”
Early in his legal career, a judge told Schirmer that he had “the head for the law but the heart of a social worker.” The comment compelled him to branch into dependency law, and he spent years prosecuting parents who abused and neglected their children. It didn’t take long for him to feel the weight of the need for services aimed at rebuilding lives shattered by family violence.
This was a revelation he felt with particular acuity, having grown up with his stepfather’s violence – “I know what it’s like to be a frightened child that’s living in an incredibly violent home,” he says honestly – and it ultimately led him apply for the job at Rainbow Services in 2003.
Initially, he didn’t get it. The board was looking for a woman.
But he was persistent, and insistent that the position should not be gender-specific.
“This is not a woman’s issue,” he says. “This is a societal ill. It really requires everybody of every gender to get involved.”
Societal ill is perhaps a neutral way of putting it. According to the national statistic, one in four women is a victim of domestic violence. In L.A. County, a man murders his girlfriend or wife every 12 days.
The people who come to Rainbow – Schirmer calls them clients – often do so as a last resort. Most have hit rock bottom; their lives are in grave danger; they fear for their children. Most learn about Rainbow from emergency room personnel who administer their medical help and law enforcement officials who prosecute their abusers. In most cases, Rainbow is the only light at the end of a very dark tunnel.
“That feeling of being overwhelmed and feeling like you have no options, that’s a tough thing to overcome,” Schirmer says. “My mother had three children and a high school education. She was a stay-at-home mom, we were in a middle-class neighborhood, and she felt like there was nowhere to turn. She didn’t see any options and – I’ll share this – she attempted suicide twice because she thought that was her only way out.
“That’s how bad it was, and for a lot of women, that’s how bad it gets. They just feel like there’s nowhere to go and that’s why it’s so critical to have someplace like Rainbow to go.”
With a staff of 46, Rainbow helps 400 families a year.
It operates two shelters, both in undisclosed locations, that service predominantly women and children. Its emergency shelter is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, to anyone fleeing an abusive partner.
Clients can stay in a transitional shelter for up a year while Rainbow helps them back to their feet through counseling, legal aid, parenting classes, and life skills lessons.
Most of Rainbow’s clients are stay-at-home mothers who find themselves yanked abruptly from a world of relative financial stability; they are entirely dependant on the support Rainbow can provide while they seek employment.
“We know domestic violence cuts across all demographics, all races, all economic levels, but people with more resources don’t necessarily need to come to Rainbow. They can hire an attorney and a therapist, they can afford an apartment. They have resources and more options,” Schirmer says.
“Many of our clients are stay-at-home moms who aren’t working, who don’t have an income and can’t afford to just go off on their own. Childcare is expensive. Finding a job that would pay for an apartment in L.A. and childcare is a daunting task, so that’s what we do.”
And every so often, a woman who has stayed at Rainbow and left will come back years later to express her gratitude. Encounters like this re-energize Schirmer and the Rainbow staff.
“It’s part of what really motivates us to come back every day and keep doing this,” he says.
There are specific calls – from a woman who had just graduated from nursing school, from a woman who said Rainbow “turned her life around” – that he remembers and clings to for motivation when the task at hand seems insurmountable.
Eroding family violence must be a community-wide effort, Schirmer says. Educating children is key, because children who are exposed to violence in the home are statistically more likely to repeat it.
Schirmer points out that everyone can do something – respectfully approach a coworker about suspect injuries, speak out against bullying, offer a listening ear, refrain from shaming a woman who is either living through or walking away from domestic violence.
“I think the biggest thing people may not realize is how critical the community support is for Rainbow,” Schirmer says. “Our donors really do help us make these services available for all those hundreds of families, and having that community support is really important both for us as an agency and for the clients. For families that have been living in isolation to come someplace like Rainbow and know the community is supportive and the community cares that they get better and heal – that’s just really important.”
Rainbow receives some government funding, but not enough to cover its expenses. Schirmer says Palos Verdes residents make up the majority of its donor base.
“It’s something that has impressed me, the amount of support we get from individual donors every year,” Schirmer says. “Because without that we couldn’t do what we are doing.”
To keep abreast of what’s happening at Rainbow Services or to make a donation, visit its webpage at www.rainbowservicesdv.org.